Junk Mail Turned Into A Post

Someone sent me this today and I figured for you people who want to know more, I'll answer it here.

1. Name: Wendi Tiffany Manning
2. Birthday: 3/15/1971
3. Are your parents still married? No
4. Any siblings? Yes 1 brother and two sisters
5. Any pets? A cat named Spenser
6. Are your parents still alive? My mom is.
7. Have you ever been in love? Yes
8. Are you now? Yes
9. Are you happy? No
10. Where were you born? Evanston IL
11. Hometown? Chicago
12. Coffee or tea? Coffee
13. Coke or Pepsi? Apple Juice
14. When is the last time you did something stupid? Friday night
15. What is the most memorable dream you've had in the last month? Doing shots of blood with Boz at Gambler's
16. What 3 things would you save from a fire? Sybil's ashes, my Joey Ramone shirts and my purse
17. What is your biggest travel fantasy? To spend 2 weeks in Greece
18. What is the favorite place you've visited? New York City
19. Have you ever done drugs? Yes
20. Do you lie? Yes
21. Have you lied in this questionairre? Yes
22. Who do you want to meet the most alive or dead? Charles Barkley or Gia Carangi
23. Do you like to dance? Sometimes
24. Are you going to forward this to anyone? No
25. If you are will anyone answer? Probably

Manningfesto

Ok all, listen up. I've got a lot to say and I am only going to say it once. I am who I am, period. I'm growing, changing, laughing, hating, scratching people off my list of friends, and occasionally adding new ones. I am unpredictable, wild, sarcastic, bitchy, mean, friendly, generous and overly tolerant. I'm an exhibitionist and a recluse, I'm a flirt and a tease, I'm self confident and terrified of the world, I'm pretty and I am ugly. I give and I take. I make bad choices and I make good ones. I am fearless cause I don't give a damn. What you see is what you see, it's never what you get. I'm highly private and that is the only constant. Sure, I may twitter on endlessly about something, but whatever that is, is almost always a cover for whatever I don't want to talk about.
I'm not as thin as I used to be...I'm neither a 2 or a 22, but I'm not at the size I want to be either. I don't know what that is honestly, I just want to be Wendi-sized. That'll be the size that makes me feel the healthiest and most comfortable. If that turns out to be a 2 so be it, if it turns out to be a 22, whatever. Whatever size that is though, it's mine and I'll be fine with it.
Thanks to all of the people in the last few months who have told me how pretty and beautiful I am. I appreciate it. Now stop trying to get in my pants. I'm not an idiot, and the few of you who are really close friends who do it should be ashamed. Yes, on my weird nights, I'll show you my bra, but that never means I want you in it. To anyone who says I'm asking to be hit on go fuck off. I could be wearing a suit of armor and be hit on. It's not my looks, it's my personality. I know that, and so do most others. Of course, there are people who hit on me which I accept most gracefully and sweetly, but I still haven't slept with them.
I'm fighting a lot of anger these days because I'm just fed up with how I get treated by certain people and how it's an endless cycle of idiocy. How did it get this far, beats me, but it did, and I'm dealing with it.
For everyone who whines in e-mail...did you not read the leave a comment section.... that I avoid all the important things in my life in this blog, this posting is essentially for you. I like keeping my privacy, and if you read this blog carefully, you'll find out a lot of personal things. No, it's not a set of clues, but what I'm thinking and feeling does come out, you just have to pay attention. The stupid list of songs from my shuffle is incredibly personal and telling, if you're looking at the right passages. The list of the nicest guys in darts tells you something that a lot of you know but it's the only comment I will ever make on it in writing and it is easily one of the most important things in my life. It's all in there people, quit whining and read, don't skim and then make catch all comments. I see through them and then ignore your next e-mail.
Which brings us back around again to my personal life. There's probably a reason it's called that. There are things that I will share with you in a conversation that I will never put in writing definitively on this blog. Sometimes what I'm thinking might hurt someone else or doesn't need to be confirmed in writing. If you need to know it, you will, I promise each and every one of you that. I remember reading that a musician friend had died on Yahoo news, it hurt twice as much because I was just reading and it was there. That is exactly what I try to avoid here. Sorry, but for scandal, and outpourings of my darkest desires, talk to me, it won't be here.

No list...
Later

An Empty Kinda Life

The last few days I've been feeling so restless, underappreciated, and just generally unhappy. I'm not bummed enough to call it a depression. I think it's more stagnant than anything else.
There's an entire world out there and I'd like to see some of it, but have pretty much figured out it's not going to happen. The reclusiveness has nothing to do with it, it's just not in the cards so to speak.
I feel like somewhere, I made a wrong turn and I don't have the energy to backtrack and undo that turn. I'm not even sure I know where it was anyway. There are probably a lot of people with a lot of votes as to where that turn was, and I have my suspicions as well, but they're not particularly relevant to this right now.
I used to believe that drama was the key to excitement in my life. I now understand that it's not, but where did the excitement go? Where's the passion for life that I used to have? Where's the motivation to deal with anything or do anything? Actually, it's the passion that I'm missing the most. Everything is just so very routine and honestly. boring that I'm losing what little mind I can still lay claim to. I want a little excitement, passion, fun, how much is that to ask from life? Sure, every life gets bogged down in the mundane, but this is just dragging out a lot longer that I expected or ever wanted.
There's a definite lack of feeling special, pretty, desired, whatever. No, this is not the place to be leaving comments of "Awww you're pretty", they will be deleted immediately. It's just that my life seems so empty compared to what I feel it should be. So, I guess, I'm just bumming today. Sorry. there's more, but I don't feel like talking about it here right now. Maybe tomorrow3, maybe never. Maybe tomorrow will be about dead musicians. :)

Later

I Am So Humbled

I read a blog the other day that just blew me away. While I don't claim to be an amazing writer, I always thought I got my thoughts across pretty well. Then I read Lena's blog, http://galenaalysoncanada.blogspot.com/ . This woman is an amazing writer. She posted the link on the lala underground board and I just figured I'd skim it and leave some inane comment. The next thing I knew I read the whole blog and wished she'd write a book. It's awfully inspiring. I know I'm going to step up my writing because of her and it still won't come close. Read this, bookmark it and tell her you love her! No list....

Later

Random Thoughts On Random Play

Ok, I need to write something... but I can't pull any one idea out right now, so what I'm going to do is look at the shuffle I've got iTunes on right now and write about the next 10 songs... or something like that. There's a lot of Jack White, so don't say I didn't warn you.

1. More Human than Human- White Zombie. One of my favorite songs, although it can be blended with any Marilyn Manson Antichrist/Mechanical Animals era song. It's one of the songs I use to wake up, when I need to. I remember at one point, and ok, there were a lot of drugs and alcohol involved, having this song on repeat for 4 days straight. I'm still not sick of it. It makes me think of hanging out at Clubfoot and dancing and generally being silly and having some really amazing times. It's a major party song for me and it'll almost always put me in a good mood. The album cover has a tarantula on it, and a friend of mine covered it up with tape, which was really sweet, but then I spilled a drink on it, and the tape just won't stick.

2. Kiss Me Deadly-Generation X. One of the best things Billy Idol has ever done. It takes me back to the Rocky Horror days. My boyfriend at the time, turned me on to them and he loved this song. I remember getting ready to go to Rocky and listening to this as I was getting dressed. The smell associated with this is SoCo and lipstick. Falling into the Rocky feeling is still mildly uncomfortable, but if I do it in roundabout way, like with this, or the Ramones, it's almost soothing. This is connected to the good times of Rocky, and it's worth reliving those memories. But I still say if I had a kid and they said "Mom, I'm either shooting heroin or doing RHPS", I'd recommend the drugs.

3. Revolution-Stone Temple Pilots. I'm a sucker for covers and this one is especially good. I alternate between good covers and bad. I love them both, but this one is just great. STP was really hit or miss for me. I either love a song or hate it from them. It's never a gray area. Scott Weiland has a good voice, all oozy and dripping with a detached sarcasm and it fits this song perfectly. This was a great choice for them to cover and it's just so much fun to listen to.

4. Red Rain- The White Stripes. This makes me feel so sad for no other reason than it's a sad song. It's got great lyrics and they have some resonance in my life and it tends to make me think about those things when I hear this. The first time I heard it, I hurried past it and then it came on one day when I was in the shower and couldn't change it and I listened to it and realized why I skipped it the first time. It's a little song with big lyrics about love going bad. "If there is a lie/ Then there is a liar too" "If there is a sin/Then there is a sinner too." Among a bunch of other lyrics that occasionally hit me where it hurts. Great song though.

5. After Midnight-Fastway. Sammi Curr baby! This song and the fact that Sammi Curr was hot, makes Trick or Treat watchable. Please don't tell me that the guy who played Sammi was in the Beat It video or that he died of AIDS, I already know and don't ruin my memories dammit! I remember the huge build up in all the music magazines and on MTV about the movie and then thinking that Nikki Sixx could have played Sammi except Sammi had much better moves, Nikki's a bit awkward. But this song is still great 21 years later. Great memories, being a little metal chick...well kinda... maybe it was a punk chick..well no, maybe goth... I was something... weren't we all? Anyway, this song brings back fun memories of the times when music was a lot more fun and a lot less serious than it is now.

6. Broken Boy Soldier-The Raconteurs. The music on my myspace page. I love this song because I love broken boys. I seek them out. I always have, both romantically and in my friendships. I seem to have some sixth sense about who is broken and in what way. Romantically, it's actually a pretty clear cut list of what makes someone broken. Not sure how I do it in my friendships, but it always seem to work out the same. Birds of a feather or something like that. Back to the song. Live, Jack White sings this full throat..screaming until he's hoarse and it's just a devastating song. The studio version is wonderful too...but the live version is just so much better. I'm not usually a big fan of live albums, but I wish The Raconteurs would release one from this tour, because they fleshed out the songs so much better than they did in the studio that it's worth hearing. Or we could all just find it online....

7. I'll Tumble 4 Ya-Culture Club. This takes me back to either when I was young and fell in love with Boy George's voice...a passion that continues to this day, or to the Clubfoot days. Either way, good memories, happy times and Boy George needs to sing again.

8. Heroin-Velvet Underground. We used to use the end of this song to clear people out of a record store I used to work at. It worked every time. I hate Lou Reed, but I love this song.

9. Remedy-The Black Crowes. God, I wanted this album to come out so bad. I was in the middle of a Black Crowes obsession and this was the first single off the new album. I was working in another record store with a guy who looked like a cleaner Chris Robinson, who I had a huge crush on...the guy, not Chris Robinson...ok Chris Robinson too...until the beard anyway. The guy was amazing... beautiful, smart, a musician with fantastic taste in music. This song, wasn't as great as the guy, but was probably a zillion times better than Chris Robinson. It's a great song and I remember loving the video. I think I still have it somewhere, I'm going to go find it after this.

10. Apple Blossom- White Stripes. Pretty pretty song. It actually brings up feelings of sadness. It's a romantic happy song and girls who fall for broken boys don't get romance. It's a rule. Girls who love broken boys get heartache. They get deep obsessive declarations of love as the boys are torching their heart with a flamethrower. They get to be treated horribly by broken boys who just want to prove that they're not broken. They get abandoned by boys who are terrified of being alone, only to have those same boys call in the middle of the night, wasted and more broken than ever, babbling incoherently of love and hate and pain...they all think they're so deep. They do not get romance or romantic love.... ever. There just are no hearts and flowers. A broken boy will not think of romance. So, the happy pretty song hits a nerve.

That's it....
Later

Completely Aimless Ramblings

This has been a confusing few weeks. Everyone I know has problems, be it big or small and to be honest, I'm at the end of my shrink rope. There are a few who, no matter what, I will be there for them, but some people I just wince when the phone rings.
I'm not innocent myself, here, I'm going through a rough patch too. As usual, I'll get through it, I always do, with the help of a very small circle of people I can really talk to. I wonder though, about the people who put me in the small circle of people they can talk to. What happens to them when I'm screwed up.... oh..that's right, I forgot.... THEY DON'T CARE.
It's the circle of selfish friends who drive me over. They're the ones whose problems trump everyone else and if they don't really have anything going on at the moment, they'll pick at old problems until they're fresh again and then their problem...fully invented out of whole cloth, trumps everyone else, no matter what. That's what hurts. It makes it truly hard to trust anyone, not that I trust that easily anyway.
I'm a recluse.... I used to be a hermit but then I found out that that wasn't "classy" enough, so now I'm a recluse. Anyway, I'm a recluse and I rarely spend a second of my time dealing with anyone I don't want to, something that's easy enough to manage when the only way to get in contact is through the phone, e-mail or texting. But when I go out, it gets more difficult. There are people I want to see and talk to, but in general, that list is small. Maybe 3 or 4 people tops. When I'm out, I usually run into people who want to talk and I'll talk for a few, but I'm beelining for the either the people I came with or the people I came to see. The last few weeks have been hard for that because either the people I want to see aren't around, or the people who want to talk to me have been more demanding. I wouldn't call myself popular, but occasionally people have things to say I guess. It feels like my life is split into factions sometimes. I have my hardcore group of friends, then there are the friends I hang out with sometimes that I like, then there's a group of friends I can only hang out with if one or another of the previous people aren't around because so and so doesn't like so and so, you know how that goes. Then there's my old friends who I don't see very often, who I touch base with occasionally to remind myself of who I used to be, those people are usually music related. It's weird how it all works and the amount of time that goes with that, maybe that's why I'm a recluse. It gets a bit overwhelming at times.
I had a dream last weekend that I did something that I would never do in a million years. Or maybe I would. That bugs me, the not knowing. I wouldn't have thought I was that type of person, but maybe I am. In this dream, I told a lie to someones girlfriend to get them to break up with this guy, so I could be with him. I've never done that, and it doesn't seem like something I would do, but who knows. That's part of the weirdness of dreams, you never know if they're a part of you, or just a mini movie playing in your head for a bit. Anyway, this dream still disturbs me, almost a week later. Being reclusive, I have more time to dwell on things than the average, normal person, and this one bugs me. How many times have I said "I'd crawl over broken glass" to do this or that, or "I'd do anything" for whatever, but even in a dream, that seems icky. And I REALLY don't like it.
Speaking of Icky, I heard the new White Stripes single, "Icky Thump". It reminds me of old seventies rock with some cool lyrics thrown in. I like it. But, that's no surprise.
I also heard, over the weekend, that people I didn't even know knew about this blog, read it and were displeased. Hi, that's what the comments section is for. I know that some people much prefer talking behind my back, but that's just ridiculous and childish...especially when they are older than I am. Please free to leave whatever bitchy things you need to say. Translation for the stupid.... say it to me... not to others. If the main point is for me to hear it anyway, I do, but I'd much prefer to eliminate any middlemen, so there will be no confusion whatsoever.
I found out who prefers dead people...see people do leave comments! It was a joke I should have gotten and missed, but the second I found out who it was, it made sense. I'm sure I will write about dead people again eventually, so everyone, or almost everyone will be happy.
I don't have a list off the top of my head tonight..... lets see.... ummmmm.... how about.. no.... ummmm aw screw it, you'll get one soon...
Later

Pretty Pretty Music

Mike Caldwell posted a list of his 10 best songs...asshole, ripping off my list thing... and has hounded me off and on to do the same, so fine. After much much much thought, and relistening to songs to make sure they were still good, I've come up with this. It was really hard because I fall for songs because of lyrics and now I'm forced to choose based on the entire song. This is NOT a list of my favorite songs, that'll be later. So, here it is....

10. Patience by Guns N Roses. A solid ballad with strong descriptive lyrics. Musically it flows smoothly with an ease that reminds you of why GNR were so great. They were comfortable with themselves and their music and it shows.

9. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. A beautiful melody underneath longing lyrics that just kind of floats along on your ears and infiltrates your brain, usually before you're even aware of it.

8. Magic Man by Heart. A story of youth gone wild without the ugliness that usually accompanies it. It's a love song, based on a true story and everything just fits together so well.

7. Dying by Hole. Heartbreaking and overwhelming. Raw and ugly. Sugar coated and tearful. It's the best breakup song.

6. Only Women Bleed by Alice Cooper. This is the song I always wished I would have written. Everything about it is so eloquent and honest that every single part of it, the music, the lyrics, everything, stands alone in a very elegant way.

5. Make The Dirt Stick by Chris Whitley. Stark, stripped down and gorgeous. It paints a picture in your mind that actually lasts.

4. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club. Say what you want about Boy George but this song is classic beauty. It's almost flawless in every single way and it's just a beautiful lush song.

3. Burden In My Hand by Soundgarden. This song is just haunting and I fall into it every time I hear it.

2. Dead Leaves and The Dirty Ground by The White Stripes. A simple easy love song that just blends all the elements of love and loneliness in to music as well as the words.

1. Chloe Dancer/Crown Of Thorns by Mother Love Bone. A song of hope, pain, despair, love, drugs, and emptiness which is actually two songs in one. Behind Andy Wood's heartbreaking lyrics is some of the most forlorn music that suddenly becomes hopeful at the end.

Baby Even The Losers

My life is so different than all the magazines say it should be. All those pretty people with their goals and ambitions and all that. I don't think I know anyone who has become what they wanted to be when they grew up. Most of my friends don't have a bit of ambition, I know I don't. Almost everyone I know didn't go to college to get a degree to get a job to better their life, they just fell into a job and stayed there.
The pretty people are buying tickets to the Police, my friends are being arrested. The pretty people have IRAs, my friends have DUIs. The pretty people have ambition, my friends have blind luck. I don't want to be the pretty people, or have friends that are. I don't like them very much. They're empty, and the people I know are real, with real lives and real problems. I'm perfectly happy with the friends I have.
I have a friend, a rich friend, who has suddenly come to the conclusion that he isn't cut out to work. He marvels me with stories about all the wonderful exotic places he's been and is going to, how full his life is and claims he's happy. I hope he is, because his life seems pretty empty to me. He's not a "pretty person" and that's why I like him, but I can't help but wonder what he wanted to be when he grew up. He's a friend and I truly and sincerely want all kinds of wonderful things to befall him ( like I do for all my friends), but the main thing I wish for him is to be truly happy.
Not really sure how I wound up with this group of people as my friends, and I don't much care, but what often amazes me is how similar we all are at the core. We all want the basic simplicities of life; health, happiness, a good solid relationship, fun and love. Yet, most of us aren't willing to put in the time and effort to get even that. We all drink too much, smoke too much, eat too much, abuse the hell out of our bodies,and if our minds are still functioning after that, that's fine too. All my friend and myself included, abuse some drug or another. They don't do much for any of us anymore, but we're addicted now.
I guess, the bottom line is be nice to us losers, because we're pretty cool. We don't need ambition and power to make us happy, we just need each other.

It's Been Over A Year

Thanks to anyone who stuck around for over a year to see if I'd ever write anything again.

Check back tomorrow for a new post

Take It All For What It's Worth

What's your definition of important? Is it a person you have? Someone you had? Someone you want? Is it money? Is it power? A way to sleep peacefully at night? Fear? Lack of fear? Faith in God? Faith in yourself? What the neighbors think? What's important to you? Can you buy it or sell it? Is what is important to you even tangible?
What's important to me has never come from outside of me. What's important to me is what I think, what I hear, what I see, smell and touch. A song lyric can be more important to me than my next paycheck. The right look from the right person is always more than oxygen. All that comes from inside me. I made the song or the person important and I can probably make them unimportant too. But I never will.
There's a song in my head for every occasion. Actually there's usually two, what was actually playing and what should have been. That's fun for watching the news, but in general it's annoying. The perfect song is usually never playing when it should be. Dancing to that Motley Crue song I mentioned awhile ago is an example of the right song at the right time. It was the perfect song, with the perfect person and there wasn't a bit of oxygen in the room. But even at weddings where you can pick the song you want to dance to I wonder at people's choices.
The music sets the mood for everything I do, always has, always will. I've got the music picked out for my perfect wedding, perfect funeral and every single instance in between. There are songs for falling in love, falling out of love, hell, even doing the dishes.
There are songwriters who can usually hit my buttons really well. Axl Rose, oddly is high on the list. His love songs are perfect and his hate songs are wonderful to feel. Nikki Sixx doesn't rank high on the love song list but he can hit any other emotion I've felt and some I never knew what they were until his words took me there. For love songs there's always Boy George and Jack White, and Joey Ramone. For pain songs there's Trent Reznor, Marilyn Manson, Jack White and Layne Staley. Courtney Love's amazing for pain and hate. For pretty pretty music that can make me smile or cry there's Andy Wood.
My point here is that the feelings that motivate me may start from Jack White singing It can't be love/ For there is no true love. But what is it that makes that line ring true? The answer is what is important to me.
There seem to be a lot of people who are having relationship problems right now. People I actually know, not some celebrity bullshit. People are moving away from them, emotionally or physically. People who wanted something now want nothing. Mental pictures painted are being repainted with new people. Dreams aren't there to play with at night anymore. And it's all so terribly important isn't it? Yeah, actually it is. There's a song for all of them and pretty or ugly song lyrics for every situation. I could quote them all a million words and some would get it and some would try to have me committed. But remember the song that was played when you had your first dance as a kid? First kiss with your first love? The song that played that one special day out with your friends? Did you know that a weirdly high number of my male friends lost their virginity to Ozzy's Over The Mountain? But you remember all those songs. I remember much better the song that playing when I first had sex with the love of my life than the one that was on when I lost my virginity. And... that... is my point. Essentially, it's all inside your head. Not the answers, but the release valves to work your way through.
I can't help everyone I know with their love problems, and I don't want to. Talking is great but I have no answers that will work, no one does. I can give a bunch of experience and a list of great songs to think about, but I've never saved anyone the way music saved me and I know I never could.

Surprise.... no list. That'll be on Monday and it'll be long.

That's it,
bye

Here's Hoping I Don't Get Sued

Today there's no list, no words of wisdom, just lyrics to a song I've been thinking about. That's Forever For Her (Is Over For Me) by yeah you knew it...The White Stripes. It was written by Jack White. It fits my mood, with the appropriate gender changes anyway. Make the changes yourself..and buy Get Behind Me Satan so Jack White doesn't sue me.

I blew it
And if I knew what to do, then I'd do it
But the point that I have, I'll get to it
And forever for her is over for me.
Forever, just a word that she said that means never
To be with another together
And with the weight of a feather it tore into me
Then I knew it
All the work that it took to get through it
On the wings of a feather that flew it
Fell onto my shoe it cut up into me

Well, everybody's reaction is changing you
But their love is only a fraction of what I can give to you
So, let's do it, just get on a plane and just do it
Like the birds and the bees and get to it
Just get out of town and forever be free
Forever, I wonder we could stay together
It could change if you want for the better
Just turn down my shirt and lay down next to me

I blew it
and if I knew what to do, then I'd do it
But the point that I have, I'll get to it
And forever for her is over for me
Forever, just the word that she said that means never
To be with another together
And with the weight of a feather it tore into me

Well, everybody's reaction is changing you
But their love is only a fraction of what I can give to you
So, let's do it, just get on a plane and just do it
Like the birds and the bees and get to it
Just get out of town and forever be free
Forever, I wonder we could stay together
It could change if you want for the better
Just tug at my shirt and lay down next to me.

This post is for me...no one else will understand it,except for the few people who don't read this and that's good. I'll give you guys something tomorrow.

that's it,
bye

Wow...Am I Lazy!

Ok, It's been awhile. Not sure if there's so much going on that I haven't had time to write or if there's so little going on that I didn't want to write. We'll go with a combo of both.
The job search is still going badly. I love to eat so this job thing had better hurry up.
I've been spending a lot of time on the Phantom game. Lots of fun. Now that I've gotten to know a lot of the people on there, I've realized that almost all of them are nice friendly people. There are only a handful that I would even consider thinking of giving my e-mail address to, and only a few that I would consider friends. One, I think will be a very close friend and that makes it worthwhile. He's a a great guy, and you all know all of my friends are male, so why should this be any different.
Hubby's ( ummmm I hate that, let's give him a fake name..... how about Gonzo!) mom seems to be doing a bit better, but it's the one step forward, two steps back thing. I've got a cool mother in law so I'm hoping for the best.
I've seen movies, most of them bad. Let's see.... The Island.... bad except for Steve Buscemi. Cry Wolf.... bad. The Exorcism of Emily Rose.... not bad, but not great either. The Skeleton Key... hard to rate..I hate Kate Hudson so much it taints any possible review. Cool end twist though. Must Love Dogs...typical Diane Lane chick flick.
I found a great candle site run by one of the Phantom people...the millisecond I get money, after food I know where I'm going.
I really have nothing to say, so we'll go to the list....

Books (or series) I can't Live Without
1. the Spenser Series by Robert B. Parker
2. the Eve Dallas Series by J.D. Robb
3. The Godfather by Mario Puzo
4. The Sicilian by Mario Puzo
5. The Green Mile by Stephen King
6. The Dirt by Motley Crue
7. If You Really Loved Me by Ann Rule
8. House Of Thunder by Dean Koontz
9. Take It Like A Man by Boy George
10. the Alex Delaware series by Jonathan Kellerman
11. The Night Stalker by Philip Carlo

that's it
bye

Wishful Thinking

Well, Christmas has come and gone and I only got one thing on my Christmas list....that's ok, some of it will reappear on my birthday list. I haven't been doing very much lately. Of course I've been playing a lot of slots and reading. I've also seen some movies, nothing spectacular or worth reviewing here, but Bad News Bears is pretty cute. Except..... they screwed up Kelly!!! In the original, Kelly was played by Jackie Earle Haley. He was skinny with dark hair and he was hot, except with the short hair, but it grew. Now he's some blond guy who looks like he wandered in off the WB. But then again, Jackie Earle Haley didn't grow up to be hot, so I guess it all worked out.
So, essentially, life has been pretty dull. The hubby's been out of town, helping to take care of his mom and that means staying up really late playing slots. I had an interview today and it went ok. For all of those keeping track out there. I haven't heard back from the second interview yet. That's usually a bad sign, but around the holidays, anything goes, so anyone keeping their fingers crossed, please continue.
I have also continued to honor Jessica Simpson's request that I give her privacy during her divorce by not reading anything about her. It's not really difficult considering I was already doing this and will continue it forever. I also am granting her privacy by not buying anything having to do with her. Hope she appreciates it. This rule also spreads to Teri Hatcher and Jennifer Aniston

Today's list is the things I want to do in life.

1. Visit China
2. Own a Stumpy dog and a St. Bernard
3. Own a house
4. Do something important or crazy enough to write an autobiography
5. Find out what it is in life I really want to do for a living. ( I suspect that it's nothing, but I could be wrong)
6. Eat a lobster tail from Gibson's
7. Have a long conversation with Nikki Sixx
8. Stop biting my nails permanently
9. Be secure with who I am
10. Stop driving myself crazy over what has been, what could have been and what will never be.
11. Spend a long time in New York, just soaking it up and loving it.

That's it,
bye

Aimless Musings While Waiting for a Download

While I'm waiting for my new update to my slot game to download ( the Hall of Challenges...can't wait!), I thought I'd write.
Tonight we're going to see a sneak preview of The Producers. This means we're going to miss Deal or No Deal. I thought the show was going to be stupid, but I actually like it. Howie Mandel doesn't annoy me as much as he usually does. I'd be so horrible on that game though. I know there's a lot of math involved and I'm so bad at figuring that stuff out, and having to figure it out that fast, forget it. Thought the guy who brought his bartender was pretty cool though.
Ok, Johnny Damon is now with the Yankees. I'm really not happy about that, except that it almost 100% guarantees that they're going to be keeping Manny. Losing Manny would bother me a lot more than losing Damon. But still...The Yankees..... tsk tsk Johnny.
I'm still waiting to hear about the second interview I went on the other day. I really want this job and am really hoping to hear soon.
Let's see..... today's list...... don't really have one. I was so caught up in the slot thing, that I haven't given much else a lot of thought. Ok, here's goes... foods I can't live without. Not the most interesting list, but it's fun for me to think about.

1. Pickles
2. Crab Legs
3. Chicken Rice Soup
4. Prime Rib
5. Egg McMuffin
6. McRib
7. Buttercream
8. Bananas
9. Caesar Salad
10. Root Beer
11. Coffee

That's it
bye

Is It All Just Wasted Time?

No, this won't be a list of my favorite Skid Row songs, promise. What it is though is an explanation of how I've spent the last two days. When not in bed, I dragged my lazy ass to the computer and played slots. A lot of slots. With a few hands of Black Jack thrown in for good measure. Ok, I am probably addicted and I don't care. This would be the slots mentioned in my favorite things post. Buy them. Play them online. It's the only way to talk to or see me anymore. There are some nice people online there, some not so nice people on there and some plain old insane people on there. But for the most part they're irrelevant. I talk to the ones I like, I avoid the ones I don't, no problem. The games are great and the commercial is officially over.
So, no Christmas shopping. No library tomorrow, because I'll be busy. I did manage to read and review the 2 books I needed to read and review so now I have even more time to play.
Obsessions come and they go and that's what today's list is, past and present obsessions. Would write more, but it's 5:45 am as it is.

1. The slot game. New obsession, but way too quickly becoming all encompassing.
2. The White Stripes. New obsession which deserves it's own post and will get one soon. It's weird and hopefully will pass.
3. Food. Old obsession which includes recipes, The Food Channel's Iron Chef and Unwrapped ( but does not include any other cooking shows), menus, pictures of food, books about food, and of course eating.
4. The Muppets. Old but much beloved obsession.
5. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Old obsession
6. Nikki Sixx. Old obsession but not stalker obsession.
7. Candles. Pretty recent ( last 7 years or so) obsession. Must be scented...preferably like food.
8. House. New obsession. The world stops at my place for House. I even stop playing slots for House.
9. Serial Killers. Old obsession.
10. Books. Old obsession, but my very favorite one.
11. Lipsticks. Old Obsession. Right now I own about 30,probably more, at one point I owned 450. I usually choose between 3 to actually wear.

that's it
bye

Mondays Are OK

Well, it's Monday, the last quiet day of my week. I have 3 maybe 4 interviews this week, Tuesday and Friday , Christmas shopping with a friend on Wednesday, the library and other assorted errands on Thursday, Saturday is for reading the 2 books I have to review for the First Look Program, and Sunday is my mom's birthday. I'm excited about the interviews. One of them is a second interview for a job that I am dying to get. The other ones are first interviews, and I'm excited, but not too excited yet, I have to wait and meet the people and see the place before I get overly excited. The Christmas shopping should be fun, mostly for hanging out and getting to breathe reason, but in general, I'm pretty down on Christmas, but looking forward to hanging out with my friend.
I've been looking at this nauseating list of "Oprah's Favorite Things" and wondering where she gets off making up a list of things that most of her viewing audience can't afford. Some of the things on there are pretty funny like the $117 tins of popcorn, or the frozen croissants. The Philosophy products on there are pretty good. I use Philosophy stuff and I can see her point. But in order to get all of her favorite things, which also includes her "Best Of Oprah" DVD, and give them to someone as a gift, you'd also have to include a check to cover the taxes! Happy shopping, I guess. So, now, as you probably guessed, is a list of Wendi's Favorite Things. Like Oprah, I will only include material objects, as they seem to be all that matters, and unlike Oprah, I don't have a Best Of DVD ( although I should), so my list will not be as egocentric as hers. Sorry. It will also be a shorter list than both hers and my usual length, because I'm lazy tonight.

1. Phantom EFX's Reel Deal Vegas Casino Experience and Bonus Mania
These are amazing casino PC Games that when you buy both of them can be combined into one huge online casino experience. With amazing games, graphics, tournaments and constant added features, it will eventually show up on my list of addictions. ( Available at www.phantomefx.com )
2. Philosophy Shower Gels
I own an obscene number of these in various flavors, and like Oprah ( who didn't put the shower gels on her list) love Philosophy. They have an overwhelming amount of flavors to choose from and are always, to my dismay, adding more. (Available at www.philosophy.com )
3. Ned And Stacey The Complete First Season DVD
The entire first season plus actually interesting commentary from the cast. Although Debra Messing doesn't really admit that Grace Adler is really Stacey, it's still worth listening to her. (Available at www.amazon.com )
4. Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes
Love this album, and because I'm afraid of going off into my bizarre White Stripes obsession explanation, we'll leave it at that. (Available at www.amazon.com)
5. Netflix
I love never having late fees and getting movies in the mail.... and making lists!
(www.netflix.com)
6. The amazing, addictive, delicious pears from Harry and David.
After these, other pears don't taste as good. (www.harryanddavid.com )
7. Yankee Candles
Yummy!!! (www.yankeecandle.com)

That's it
bye

The True Meaning of December

December is the month where we celebrate the birth of a great person. A man from humble beginnings who grew up to inspire and change the lives of millions of people. A man whose words are repeated daily in places around the world. A strong man. A proud man. A good man. A man who followed his beliefs and who died for his cause and was resurrected to preach the word yet again.

So, Happy Birthday Nikki Sixx!!!!

I have modeled the majority of my life after Nikki Sixx. I read an article in Creem magazine that Nikki used Nice N Easy Blue Black to color his hair, and very soon, mine was the same. My first taste of liquor was Jack Daniels... yeah thanks Nikki, for that thrill. There is a lot more than hairdye and alcohol in how he influenced me, but those are just two examples. Anyway, he is such an influential person in my life that during very nerve wracking moments, I silently tell myself to channel my "Inner Nikki". Sometimes it works, most of the time it works, but in a very cocky, neurotic way. I've had the most romantic dance of my life to a Motley Crue song, Without You, in a place and time that should never have been romantic but was and is one of my favorite memories. I have listened to Motley Crue before every single important event in my life since Theater of Pain was released. I have seen Motley Crue in concert more times than any other band and probably more times than I've seen my father. Hell, I've seen Brides of Destruction live. Great band, shame he abandoned it. When I have a child it will have the middle name Sixx. I can't pull off the Sixx as a first name, I want it, but can't talk the hubby into it. I can't wait to get my hands on the Heroin Diaries.
Anyway I can babble Nikki stuff forever, but what it boils down to is that Nikki is an amazing person and has influenced every single aspect of my life in ways that sometimes scare me. Today's post is a thank you to Nikki for being who he is and for helping make me what I am today. I really wasn't going to post a list, but I guess I can name my 11 favorite Motley Crue songs. But once again, Happy Birthday and thanks Nikki!!!!!

1. City Boy Blues
2. Too Fast For Love
3. Looks that Kill
4. Too Young To Fall In Love
5. Wild Side
6. Public Enemy #1
7. Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)
8. Live Wire
9. Without You ( never would have made the list without that dance)
10. Come On and Dance
11. You're All I Need

That's it,
bye

It Was 25 Years Ago Today

Guess what? John Lennon is still dead. I'm sorry to his family, friends and fans. But ok, I'm done now. I won't be beating my chest, crying or buying Imagine jewelry off QVC or HSN or whichever one is selling it. Or any of the endless supply of John Lennon peace, love, and Imagine related crap. I bought two t shirts the week that Joey Ramone died. I occasionally buy albums of dead musicians and the occasional rare piece of memorabilia, but the sheer amount of Lennon merchandise put out by his WIFE repulses me. "Imagine all the dollars living life with YokOOOO." She's not the only one, the Presley stuff, Jerry Garcia stuff and Morrison stuff is pretty bad too. But Yoko is..... just cheapening whatever positive message there was.
As seen in my previous posts I have a lot of baggage when it comes to dead musicians, but there's a limit. John Lennon was a musician. Like other musicians, some of his stuff was good, some of it bad. Like every other person in the world, he had opinions, some were good, and some were bad. That's it.
It was 21 years ago today that Vince Neil killed Razzle from Hanoi Rocks. I love Motley Crue and consider Nikki Sixx to be the single greatest person ever and my personal hero and idol. But Mark David Chapman is sitting in jail for shooting John Lennon and Vince Neil is performing on a stage near you. It would be a lie to say I boycotted everything Motley Crue related, but I would also ask where is Razzle's press? Where is Razzle's Strawberry Fields? In his own way, in the field of music that he was in, Razzle was very influential, as is the band he was in. The next time you put on Appetite For Destruction, remember that if it wasn't for Hanoi Rocks, there would have been no Guns N Roses. Or very oddly, Motley Crue.
Life is funny that way, people put so much importance on one person and none on another. So the list of things today is OTHER things that happened on this day in history. Yes there are two other Beatle related things that happened on that day, one is on the list, the second is that Ringo Starr appeared on Saturday Night Live. Let me know if John Lennon's death is more important than ANYTHING else that ever happened. Yeah it's probably more important than Ringo on SNL, but that's why it wasn't on the list.

1. In 1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate Conception.
2. The worst car crash ever in Great Britain. Three people were killed and 120 were injured in a 100 car pile up in Wigan England.
3. In 1941 the United States declared war on Japan.
4. In 1952 Lucy Ricardo's pregnancy was announced on I Love Lucy, the first time a pregnancy was acknowledged on TV.
5. In 1978 Golda Meir died.
6. In 1967 The Beatles' Magical Mystery Tour was released.
7. In 1943 Jim Morrison was born
8. In 1947 Gregg Allman was born
9. In 1987 Ronald Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev signed the first treaty to reduce the nuclear arsenals of the two superpowers.
10. In 1966 Sinead O'Connor was born
11. In 1925 Sammy Davis Jr. was born.

That's it
bye

The Gilmore Girls and Me

I spent this evening curled up with Season One Disc 5 of the Gilmore Girls. I caught an episode one night and liked it, but rather than trying to figure out what was going on, I just pulled up Netflix and ordered season one. I figured that this was the easiest way to find out whether this show was any good or if it was just that one episode. Now, I'm a junkie. I reorganize my Netflix queue constantly ( well, I do that anyway, it's a list after all) so there is always either Gilmore Girls in the house or in the mail. This time I had to double up because disc 6 is only one episode and the bonus features, so I had to make sure that season 2 disc one was on it's way as well. How do people watch just one episode a week?
I like Lorelai and Rory. I wouldn't mind hanging out with them... they seem fun. Stars Hollow seems like a pretty cool place to live as well. But, starting at the beginning it's kind of like cheating. When I saw Rory's first boyfriend, I thought "This won't last, he's on Supernatural now" Then there's the guy who's on One Tree Hill now, so I guess he's not sticking around. Never saw One Tree Hill, but the guy is pretty obvious in the commercials.
I saw my first episode of Supernatural last night. Usually I miss everything on Tuesdays because of Bones and House, but they weren't on and we just stuck on channel 9 after Everybody Loves Raymond. It seems pretty good, so I hope it comes out on DVD or they run reruns in the summer because it's not better than House. Also got to watch another of my addictions last night, Law & Order SVU. usually NBC comes in horribly on my TV,so I never get to see it, but it actually gave me SVU this week, plus Criminal Intent on Sunday. All in all, my TV life is pretty good this week. which naturally brings me to tonight's list. People on TV I'd like to hang out with. The rules are simple.... no cartoons (sorry Stewie), and if there's more than one person on a show, they get grouped together.

1. Lorelai and Rory ( Gilmore Girls)
2. Christine and Jimmy Hughes (Yes Dear)
3. Antonio Scarpacci and Lowell Mathers ( Wings)
4. Ray and Debra Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
5. Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie ( Whose Line is it Anyway..and yeah I know that's cheating, but it's my list)
6. Charlie Harper and Jake Harper ( Two and a Half Men)
7. Dr. House and Dr Chase ( House)
8. Ned Dorsey ( Ned & Stacey)
9. Darlene Conner ( Roseanne)
10. Dharma and Greg Montgomery ( Dharma & Greg)
11. Dr. Niles Crane ( Frasier)

That's it
Bye

Silly Questions That Keep Me Up At Night

This is it for today, no long melodramatic rant, just the goofy things I think about when I'm trying to fall asleep.

1. If The Simpsons exist on the show Stargate SG1, then why doesn't Stargate exist on the Simpsons and why are Patty and Selma in love with MacGyver when there's Colonel O'Neill?
2. Why can everyone hear Brian talk on Family Guy but it seems like only Brian can hear Stewie?
3. I read an article a few years ago that said bananas are going to be extinct in the next 10 years.... so if they can clone things now, why not bananas?
4. Why hasn't Cosmo run out of sex tips by now?
5. Why did people think Don Knotts was ever funny?
6. Why is a man threatening to hit his wife abuse now, but on the Honeymooners it was comedy?
7. Has Gilbert Gottfried ever heard the sound of his own voice,and how does he stand it?
8. Is Jack White a down to earth guy like he seems in interviews or is he actually the pretentious ass he comes off as in his message page on the White Stripes website?
9. Does Angelina Jolie have it in her contract that if she is going to do sex scenes in a movie, in at least one of those scenes she must be having sex standing up?
10. Why do kids shows suck so badly these days?
11. Do all of those people in the 80's and early 90's who had Ozzy is God tattooed on their bodies feel really ashamed of themselves and Ozzy now?

That's it
Bye