Let Me Live My Own Life

I write a lot about friends. I am lucky enough to have some really close fantastic friends who I can truly relax and be myself around. I'm not writing about those today, that's another post and it needs to be written and it will be.
I'm not writing about the two usual BBS either. I'm not having any major issues with them and I've been rough on them, so we'll leave this out of this one (Ok Axl lookalike, you can stop reading now. I'm not slamming you this time.)
This is a post about the friends none of us want but we all have. The users. The selfish little people who don't spend a millisecond of their time thinking about anything past the end of their nose. The ones who take until you have nothing more to give and then stroll away. The ones who miss birthdays, Christmas and various other holidays after they swear to be there. The excuses are always varied and never their fault but it doesn't matter after awhile.
I don't want to touch their ummmm greatness in any form.They had my sympathy until they lost my respect. I feel like Sam Kinison: "I WANT MY STUFF BACK!!". That stuff includes my respect for them, my feeling of friendship with these people and maybe an apology.
The main subject of this has been mentioned a few times in this, occasionally negatively, but this time I just don't care. Read through the posts and find him. Who cares? There's actually enough clues in this very post to figure it out.
I respected his friendship, and his creativity and him in general. Drugs will kill you, but if they don't, they steal a large part of your personality. You will never be the same and he isn't. There's a part of him that is dead as sure as if he had overdosed in an alley in LA. I hate that, but I'm finished denying it. What was left was this victim mentality which is unbearable. I've seen it in others but a lot of them, including myself, overcame it because it's just not feasible to be Camille in this world. This guy is living in torture because, oh hell, I'm not his shrink... let him figure it out. All I know is that I am there for my friends, good friends, bad friends or indifferent ones in times of crisis or anytime I'm needed. I'm hardwired that way. I was here for this guy for as long as I was allowed into his hallowed life. Oh yeah, to clarify, that meant when I had something he wanted. Materially that was quite a bit. Emotionally and intellectually as well. But I don't have a thing to offer after way too many years. Not sure I want to offer anymore either. I tried. All of the self serving people out there, I tried with all of you and now it's done. I'll answer your emails or calls or whatnot, but all of you get one more chance. That's it.
The title of this post is wishful thinking and another clue. The wishful thinking is just more delusional thinking on my part. You can't expect someone to change, you can hope but sometimes friendships just die. Maybe we'll run into each other at a show and share a laugh and that'll be a good memory. For the musicians in this post, maybe I'll go to one of your shows, stop by after to say hi, share a compliment on the show and an empty promise of getting together for a drink sometime and that'll be it. Maybe that's letting me live my own life or letting them live theirs. I know you need to work for your friendships, they are a luxury not a right. A few of my "friends" need to learn it. This is the nice version of this post.... the uncensored one can be found in my head and catch me on the right night and I'll be happy to tell ya!

later
me

p.s. Every single word or thought expressed in this post is mine and is not to be used anywhere without my permission or I'll go Major League Baseball on your ass! Translation.... stealing is bad, especially when I've let you use my words before. Actually the title is a title of a song that wasn't written by me, so that's up to the writer of the song.