Random Thoughts On Random Play

Ok, I need to write something... but I can't pull any one idea out right now, so what I'm going to do is look at the shuffle I've got iTunes on right now and write about the next 10 songs... or something like that. There's a lot of Jack White, so don't say I didn't warn you.

1. More Human than Human- White Zombie. One of my favorite songs, although it can be blended with any Marilyn Manson Antichrist/Mechanical Animals era song. It's one of the songs I use to wake up, when I need to. I remember at one point, and ok, there were a lot of drugs and alcohol involved, having this song on repeat for 4 days straight. I'm still not sick of it. It makes me think of hanging out at Clubfoot and dancing and generally being silly and having some really amazing times. It's a major party song for me and it'll almost always put me in a good mood. The album cover has a tarantula on it, and a friend of mine covered it up with tape, which was really sweet, but then I spilled a drink on it, and the tape just won't stick.

2. Kiss Me Deadly-Generation X. One of the best things Billy Idol has ever done. It takes me back to the Rocky Horror days. My boyfriend at the time, turned me on to them and he loved this song. I remember getting ready to go to Rocky and listening to this as I was getting dressed. The smell associated with this is SoCo and lipstick. Falling into the Rocky feeling is still mildly uncomfortable, but if I do it in roundabout way, like with this, or the Ramones, it's almost soothing. This is connected to the good times of Rocky, and it's worth reliving those memories. But I still say if I had a kid and they said "Mom, I'm either shooting heroin or doing RHPS", I'd recommend the drugs.

3. Revolution-Stone Temple Pilots. I'm a sucker for covers and this one is especially good. I alternate between good covers and bad. I love them both, but this one is just great. STP was really hit or miss for me. I either love a song or hate it from them. It's never a gray area. Scott Weiland has a good voice, all oozy and dripping with a detached sarcasm and it fits this song perfectly. This was a great choice for them to cover and it's just so much fun to listen to.

4. Red Rain- The White Stripes. This makes me feel so sad for no other reason than it's a sad song. It's got great lyrics and they have some resonance in my life and it tends to make me think about those things when I hear this. The first time I heard it, I hurried past it and then it came on one day when I was in the shower and couldn't change it and I listened to it and realized why I skipped it the first time. It's a little song with big lyrics about love going bad. "If there is a lie/ Then there is a liar too" "If there is a sin/Then there is a sinner too." Among a bunch of other lyrics that occasionally hit me where it hurts. Great song though.

5. After Midnight-Fastway. Sammi Curr baby! This song and the fact that Sammi Curr was hot, makes Trick or Treat watchable. Please don't tell me that the guy who played Sammi was in the Beat It video or that he died of AIDS, I already know and don't ruin my memories dammit! I remember the huge build up in all the music magazines and on MTV about the movie and then thinking that Nikki Sixx could have played Sammi except Sammi had much better moves, Nikki's a bit awkward. But this song is still great 21 years later. Great memories, being a little metal chick...well kinda... maybe it was a punk chick..well no, maybe goth... I was something... weren't we all? Anyway, this song brings back fun memories of the times when music was a lot more fun and a lot less serious than it is now.

6. Broken Boy Soldier-The Raconteurs. The music on my myspace page. I love this song because I love broken boys. I seek them out. I always have, both romantically and in my friendships. I seem to have some sixth sense about who is broken and in what way. Romantically, it's actually a pretty clear cut list of what makes someone broken. Not sure how I do it in my friendships, but it always seem to work out the same. Birds of a feather or something like that. Back to the song. Live, Jack White sings this full throat..screaming until he's hoarse and it's just a devastating song. The studio version is wonderful too...but the live version is just so much better. I'm not usually a big fan of live albums, but I wish The Raconteurs would release one from this tour, because they fleshed out the songs so much better than they did in the studio that it's worth hearing. Or we could all just find it online....

7. I'll Tumble 4 Ya-Culture Club. This takes me back to either when I was young and fell in love with Boy George's voice...a passion that continues to this day, or to the Clubfoot days. Either way, good memories, happy times and Boy George needs to sing again.

8. Heroin-Velvet Underground. We used to use the end of this song to clear people out of a record store I used to work at. It worked every time. I hate Lou Reed, but I love this song.

9. Remedy-The Black Crowes. God, I wanted this album to come out so bad. I was in the middle of a Black Crowes obsession and this was the first single off the new album. I was working in another record store with a guy who looked like a cleaner Chris Robinson, who I had a huge crush on...the guy, not Chris Robinson...ok Chris Robinson too...until the beard anyway. The guy was amazing... beautiful, smart, a musician with fantastic taste in music. This song, wasn't as great as the guy, but was probably a zillion times better than Chris Robinson. It's a great song and I remember loving the video. I think I still have it somewhere, I'm going to go find it after this.

10. Apple Blossom- White Stripes. Pretty pretty song. It actually brings up feelings of sadness. It's a romantic happy song and girls who fall for broken boys don't get romance. It's a rule. Girls who love broken boys get heartache. They get deep obsessive declarations of love as the boys are torching their heart with a flamethrower. They get to be treated horribly by broken boys who just want to prove that they're not broken. They get abandoned by boys who are terrified of being alone, only to have those same boys call in the middle of the night, wasted and more broken than ever, babbling incoherently of love and hate and pain...they all think they're so deep. They do not get romance or romantic love.... ever. There just are no hearts and flowers. A broken boy will not think of romance. So, the happy pretty song hits a nerve.

That's it....
Later

Completely Aimless Ramblings

This has been a confusing few weeks. Everyone I know has problems, be it big or small and to be honest, I'm at the end of my shrink rope. There are a few who, no matter what, I will be there for them, but some people I just wince when the phone rings.
I'm not innocent myself, here, I'm going through a rough patch too. As usual, I'll get through it, I always do, with the help of a very small circle of people I can really talk to. I wonder though, about the people who put me in the small circle of people they can talk to. What happens to them when I'm screwed up.... oh..that's right, I forgot.... THEY DON'T CARE.
It's the circle of selfish friends who drive me over. They're the ones whose problems trump everyone else and if they don't really have anything going on at the moment, they'll pick at old problems until they're fresh again and then their problem...fully invented out of whole cloth, trumps everyone else, no matter what. That's what hurts. It makes it truly hard to trust anyone, not that I trust that easily anyway.
I'm a recluse.... I used to be a hermit but then I found out that that wasn't "classy" enough, so now I'm a recluse. Anyway, I'm a recluse and I rarely spend a second of my time dealing with anyone I don't want to, something that's easy enough to manage when the only way to get in contact is through the phone, e-mail or texting. But when I go out, it gets more difficult. There are people I want to see and talk to, but in general, that list is small. Maybe 3 or 4 people tops. When I'm out, I usually run into people who want to talk and I'll talk for a few, but I'm beelining for the either the people I came with or the people I came to see. The last few weeks have been hard for that because either the people I want to see aren't around, or the people who want to talk to me have been more demanding. I wouldn't call myself popular, but occasionally people have things to say I guess. It feels like my life is split into factions sometimes. I have my hardcore group of friends, then there are the friends I hang out with sometimes that I like, then there's a group of friends I can only hang out with if one or another of the previous people aren't around because so and so doesn't like so and so, you know how that goes. Then there's my old friends who I don't see very often, who I touch base with occasionally to remind myself of who I used to be, those people are usually music related. It's weird how it all works and the amount of time that goes with that, maybe that's why I'm a recluse. It gets a bit overwhelming at times.
I had a dream last weekend that I did something that I would never do in a million years. Or maybe I would. That bugs me, the not knowing. I wouldn't have thought I was that type of person, but maybe I am. In this dream, I told a lie to someones girlfriend to get them to break up with this guy, so I could be with him. I've never done that, and it doesn't seem like something I would do, but who knows. That's part of the weirdness of dreams, you never know if they're a part of you, or just a mini movie playing in your head for a bit. Anyway, this dream still disturbs me, almost a week later. Being reclusive, I have more time to dwell on things than the average, normal person, and this one bugs me. How many times have I said "I'd crawl over broken glass" to do this or that, or "I'd do anything" for whatever, but even in a dream, that seems icky. And I REALLY don't like it.
Speaking of Icky, I heard the new White Stripes single, "Icky Thump". It reminds me of old seventies rock with some cool lyrics thrown in. I like it. But, that's no surprise.
I also heard, over the weekend, that people I didn't even know knew about this blog, read it and were displeased. Hi, that's what the comments section is for. I know that some people much prefer talking behind my back, but that's just ridiculous and childish...especially when they are older than I am. Please free to leave whatever bitchy things you need to say. Translation for the stupid.... say it to me... not to others. If the main point is for me to hear it anyway, I do, but I'd much prefer to eliminate any middlemen, so there will be no confusion whatsoever.
I found out who prefers dead people...see people do leave comments! It was a joke I should have gotten and missed, but the second I found out who it was, it made sense. I'm sure I will write about dead people again eventually, so everyone, or almost everyone will be happy.
I don't have a list off the top of my head tonight..... lets see.... ummmmm.... how about.. no.... ummmm aw screw it, you'll get one soon...
Later

Pretty Pretty Music

Mike Caldwell posted a list of his 10 best songs...asshole, ripping off my list thing... and has hounded me off and on to do the same, so fine. After much much much thought, and relistening to songs to make sure they were still good, I've come up with this. It was really hard because I fall for songs because of lyrics and now I'm forced to choose based on the entire song. This is NOT a list of my favorite songs, that'll be later. So, here it is....

10. Patience by Guns N Roses. A solid ballad with strong descriptive lyrics. Musically it flows smoothly with an ease that reminds you of why GNR were so great. They were comfortable with themselves and their music and it shows.

9. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. A beautiful melody underneath longing lyrics that just kind of floats along on your ears and infiltrates your brain, usually before you're even aware of it.

8. Magic Man by Heart. A story of youth gone wild without the ugliness that usually accompanies it. It's a love song, based on a true story and everything just fits together so well.

7. Dying by Hole. Heartbreaking and overwhelming. Raw and ugly. Sugar coated and tearful. It's the best breakup song.

6. Only Women Bleed by Alice Cooper. This is the song I always wished I would have written. Everything about it is so eloquent and honest that every single part of it, the music, the lyrics, everything, stands alone in a very elegant way.

5. Make The Dirt Stick by Chris Whitley. Stark, stripped down and gorgeous. It paints a picture in your mind that actually lasts.

4. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club. Say what you want about Boy George but this song is classic beauty. It's almost flawless in every single way and it's just a beautiful lush song.

3. Burden In My Hand by Soundgarden. This song is just haunting and I fall into it every time I hear it.

2. Dead Leaves and The Dirty Ground by The White Stripes. A simple easy love song that just blends all the elements of love and loneliness in to music as well as the words.

1. Chloe Dancer/Crown Of Thorns by Mother Love Bone. A song of hope, pain, despair, love, drugs, and emptiness which is actually two songs in one. Behind Andy Wood's heartbreaking lyrics is some of the most forlorn music that suddenly becomes hopeful at the end.