I deleted a post today. I've never done that before. I just figure that no one reads the old stuff anyway. Today, after a lot of thought, I deleted the "Best People in the Dart League"post. I really didn't want to. Most of the list stayed the same, but there were a few people on that list who I've changed my mind about. Some who should have been rated higher, some lower, and a few who shouldn't have been on there at all. I can't say that I've really enjoyed seeing the sides of the people I changed my mind about, but I've learned so much. There's one person who still would have made the list even though he's seriously hurt me, and learning that wasn't pretty, but it didn't change what I knew of him fundamentally as a person. So, he stayed. The people who caused the post to be deleted, hurt me beyond repair. Oddly, maybe I'll stay friends with some of them, maybe not, but it's all made me look at everything in a new light. Rather than working in the editing, and the explanations, I just deleted the post. Sorry to all who were still on it and cared, but it was easier than using this as a forum to hurt people.
The point here is that people change, maybe. Some are stagnant, but for the most part, we change. I've changed and a lot of people I know have changed, and it's had an effect on my relationships with almost all of them. I've come to realize that I'm not all that proud of having the friends that I have. In some cases, I've learned that I don't even really like some of them, and have just been dealing with them out of habit. It's a weird feeling, but one I'm coming to terms with.
Things have been rough lately, and I'm starting to come out on the other side and wow, am I looking at things differently. It's refreshing and new. I'm trying to keep out of the darker sides of my life, not really looking too much around the edges, but all in all, things are cool. Except for the whole friendship thing. I'm working on that, mostly figuring out who is who and where everyone fits in. The realization that there are going to be people who just don't fit anymore is odd, but I'm dealing with it.
So, just wanted to explain the deletion and prove I'm still alive.
Later-
Me
14 years ago
3 comments:
It's all part of the evolution. It's not the end of the world, and you probably won't notice half of them are gone. Be strong and you'll be fine. Call me though and let me know who got cut. Bet B didn't get cut, you'd never cut him, silly Blossom.
No bets here, but either way, it's a shame things had to change to the point of removing the list. Some care and just aren't equipped, others don't care and are permanently broken. Usual suspects...
Nothing like waking up and seeing things clearly.
You're in my thoughts, and dreams.
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