You Know Where You Are? You're In The Jungle Baby!

As I think everyone knows, I live in a very small world. My circle of friends is small, my circle of people who think they're my friend is sadly large, but basically, I am never very difficult to find. I'm just difficult to reach.
The place where I tend to hang out most Friday nights is laughingly called "high school with beer". That's not quite right, we had beer in high school and we still weren't this childish. It's a bar where most people have been hanging out forever, newcomers are noticed because they are just so rare and pretty much everyone wants to be king of the mountain.
I've written posts from the top and bottom of this mountain and I don't care much either way if I'm looking up or down, but for a lot of people, it's a huge deal. Everyone wants to be king. King of darts, king of pool, king of antisocial behavior (no, I'm not kidding), king of the jukebox, king of whatever. They just want to be king. It's a little minitown that every move is immediately sent on the grapevine, plans to hurt people are openly and cheerfully discussed and nothing you do or say is ignored.
The worst of it all is the male/female relations. All the guys are pigs and all the girls are sluts, or something like that. I've had in the past, and am having now, problems with simple basic friendships. If you are a girl, single, married or indifferent and you hang out with someone, talking, playing darts or pools or whatever, you are automatically sleeping with them. The most recent is with a friend I have known for longer than I've been going to this place and longer than I've known most of the people in my life these days. Is he an attractive guy? Absolutely. Is he a nice guy? Yeah. Is he smart and great to talk to? Without a doubt. Are we more than friends? Nope. Am I having to stop and think before I talk to him in public? Sadly, yes. Are there entire parts of the grapevine devoted to are we or aren't we? Yep. Is that as creepy and obtrusive as it seems? 100%.
So, to stop asking questions and sum stuff up, I have a friend with whom I would love to have a real friendship with, as I do with other people of the opposite sex, but it seems to becoming an impossibility. I don't care what people think, but if my friends care, then I have to respect them and their feelings.
In a place where everything is on display and if nothing is going on, it gets invented, it's amazing that any friendships survive. Yeah, while it's true that a lot of the male/female relationships at this place include cheating on a spouse or significant other, it's not always the case. Sometimes, it's just two people trying to carry on a conversation or a game of darts without being bothered. It's a bar right? People go there to relax and unwind and shed some of the problems of their day. But if the simple act of friendship is going to be hideously misconstrued, why bother?
I'm not going to wear the good guy badge here and claim that there is never any flirtiness or physical contact, but it's all harmless to everyone INVOLVED. There is no running off to Tijuana or Vegas or a cheap motel somewhere, and again, to the people INVOLVED, that's clear. But, if you're not involved, why should it matter? Most...ok all of my friends are male and there is a level of touchy feely with all of them. Some more than others, some less, no biggie. there's no misrepresentation or lies, it's just what it is.
I guess the point that I'm trying to make, is that while I'm little miss self reliant, I'm aware that there is a rumor mill and that there are people in there that aren't as headstrong as I am and actually care what others think. I just don't feel that I need to choose my friends based on what other people think. Maybe I should stop hanging out with my male friends and go drink cosmos in some high class lounge after shopping all day for shoes with the girls. Ok, I considered suicide writing that line, never gonna happen. I like my friends and I like being with them and talking with them and maybe having a friendship that doesn't have to be carried out on the grapevines of the world. Close friends are really hard to find, and what sex they are shouldn't matter. Every single one of my close friends is male and I wouldn't have it any other way. They may all be BBS, but I care for all of them. The point of all of this is... (wow..I feel like Doogie Howser) actually, i think i made my point.

later-
me